Mexico Does Not Confuse Strength with Silence

"Me marcho hoy, yo sé perder. Pero, ay cómo me duele."

Before I came to Mexico, I thought strength meant controlling what you showed.

Lose gracefully. Walk away quietly. Do not let anyone see how much it hurt.

Mexico has complicated that idea for me.

Here, a person can accept defeat and still cry out from the pain. There is no contradiction between dignity and emotion.

Yo sé perder.

I know how to lose.

But also:

Ay, cómo me duele.

God, it hurts.

Mexican music does not always ask people to overcome pain before speaking about it. It gives them permission to feel it completely.

The strength is not in pretending the wound does not exist.

The strength is in carrying it without becoming ashamed of it.

Perhaps Mexico smiles not because it hurts less, but because pain is allowed to have a voice.

This is a field note from Why Mexico Smiles, my book on what Mexicans actually mean. You can read Chapter 1 free.